My story

I want somebody to know what i am going through. I am from India. I am married to a monster and mentally unstable person and I came to know about it in the first few months of my marriage. I couldnt tell anyone because i am afraid. In the two years i am married he beat me up seven times and i remember everyone of them distinctly. I even tried to commit suicide when nobody is at home because i am so scared that when he comes back he will beat me again. It was a horrible experience.Then i remembered my dad and what would happen to him if i really did something like that and so whenever my husband got angry i used to lock myself up so that he will never get to me.I wanted to leave the house so many times but i am scared of spoiling the reputation of my father. I never told anyone and just endured it when he tortured me about money.I just hoped that it will go away someday.I just hoped that someday he might change.But i dont think that he will ever change because he doesnt think that beating people is wrong. Thats the reason i dont want kids. Because i am afraid that he will beat them too and i dont want my children to grow up like that. I am writing this because if something happened to me u may hear various account of the incident but i just wanted somebody to know my side of it. Everybody has problems. True. But they will get easier if you have someone to face them with.But what if the problem is the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with.. So now i dont know what i am supposed to do.I have a job now. So i can live without depending on him. Even so he is harassing me for my salary. He told me that he married me for money and he wont tolerate it if i ever give it to anybody else even my parents.I decided to leave this house and live my life by joining a hostel.Everybody has a breaking point and i have reached mine.I have endured so much and couldnt anymore. I never told anyone and now its time i do.This is my story and going away is the only option i have because u cant treat a person who thinks there is nothing wrong with him. If you have any other suggestions i would very much like to hear them. Divorce is not an option for me.